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Star Trek: Foundations; My ENT Redux fic
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Topic Started: 19 Mar 2006, 17:49 (4,451 Views)
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Captain X
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19 Mar 2006, 17:49
Post #1
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Well, it sorta fits.....
Teaser:
- Quote:
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FADE IN
Image - A large public square, not unlike the Roman Forum, with an elevated stage area set in front of a large neo-classical governmental building.
GOVERNOR FRANKLIN: It is our duty to declare independence from Earth, and our responsibility, for our children's future, to make our way in the universe free from Earth rule!
Narrator - A colony desperate for independence...
Image - Governor Franklin steps to the side and motions for Admiral Krav to take a turn at the podium.
ADMIRAL KRAV: Nothing the Earth military has can harm us; our mere presence is enough to achieve victory.
Narrator - Gets a helping hand...
Image - Gold beams of light lash out from the distance, focusing on a frigate. It tries to maneuver, but it’s too late, its polarized hull fails after the first few seconds of concentrated fire from multiple Tellarite ships. The beams rake across its hull, making their way to one of the frigate’s large impulse engines. The engine explodes, sending the small ship listing off to the side. More gold beams lash out, striking nearly every grey warship, including the Lexington, but they fare better.
Narrator - That will lead them to war.
Image - The large rail guns on the warships open fire with a thunder, sending their projectiles toward the Tellarite ships. We watch as some of them explode as they make contact with the black hulls, and others explode among the ships, spewing shrapnel with mixed results. Red laser beams flash between the ships, scoring the black hulls. The Tellarites scramble into an attack maneuver and return fire. We resume our position among the Earth ships and watch as hundreds of missiles are launched and streak toward their targets.
FADE OUT
Image - Darkness. The Star Trek: Foundations logo fades into view.
Relevant(?) Scene:
- Quote:
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SHUTTLE CONTROLLER (COMM VOICE) The shuttle is aboard now Sir. She’s on her way up.
ARCHER Very well.
Archer switches the comm. off, leans back in his chair and sighs heavily.
TRIP (sarcastically) Well this should be interestin’…
ARCHER Yeah…
We focus on the main entrance, watching and waiting, until the door chime sounds.
ARCHER Enter!
The newly reinstated Sub-Commander T’Pol, now dressed in a Vulcan uniform, cautiously enters the room. She immediately senses the hostility directed at her from Trip and Archer and tenses up. She stands in front of Archer’s desk clasps her hands behind her back.
T’POL Sub-Commander T’Pol reporting for duty Captain.
ARCHER (not sounding very welcoming) Welcome aboard Sub-Commander. I trust you’ve been briefed about your new duties.
T’POL Yes Captain; I was told I’d be responsible for the science staff, as well as your executive officer.
ARCHER That’s right. (beat) Let me introduce you to the ship’s Chief Engineer, Commander Charles Tucker III.
Trip stands up and faces T’Pol, who is almost a head shorter than he is.
TRIP And former first officer…
Trip offers his hand to her. T’Pol merely looks at it a moment, raises an eyebrow, and faces Archer again.
T’POL If that’s all Captain I’d like to meet my new department heads, and familiarize myself with the ship.
ARCHER I guess we’re done here. (beat, coolly) Dismissed.
T’Pol turns on her heel and quickly exits the room, leaving Trip and Archer to fume over their new Vulcan crewmate. As the door slides shut, Trip shakes his head in annoyance.
TRIP (sarcastically) Yep. This is going to be real interestin’...
FADE OUT.
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Captain X
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20 Mar 2006, 16:16
Post #2
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"Vice" Admiral
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Guess it's time to break out the heavy artillary. :devil: Believe it or not, how I would have redone this scene is actually how I got my start on this project to begin with.. Oh, did I mention Rigil helped me out a considerable amount on this?
;)
- Quote:
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INT. Enterprise – Decontamination & Quarantine Room
Trip leads T’Pol through the narrow entryway and they set down the equipment they carried with them from the shuttlepod. They begin to take off their damaged environmental suits.
TRIP This might not even be necessary. Biosensors should let us know.
He misses the flat look T'Pol gives him; clearly, she knows something about decon. As if on cue, Dr. Lucas opens the hatch covering the small window between the D & Q room and the small observation room next to it.
LUCAS (COMM VOICE) You’ve come up positive for both chemical and biological agents. (beat, sympathetically) We’re going to need the both of you to run through full decon; clothes, equipment, and everything.
Trip definitely doesn’t look thrilled by the idea, but he accepts the necessity. T’Pol is somewhat unreadable, but we can tell that she isn’t looking forward to the procedure either.
TRIP Then you better have a team clean out the shuttlepod too in case we left any of it behind in there.
Lucas nods in agreement.
LUCAS (COMM VOICE) I was thinking the same thing.
Lucas starts to turn away when Trip starts grumbling what could be some very non-PG-13 words under his breath, though we can’t quite make it out. T’Pol hears it though, and it’s obvious that she doesn’t approve. Lucas doesn’t know whether to crack a smirk or to grimace, but he decides it’s none of his business.
LUCAS (COMM VOICE) I’ll give you two some privacy.
Lucas pushes an unseen button and the hatch slides shut again.
LUCAS (COMM VOICE) (sarcastically) Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
T’Pol raises an eyebrow, not quite sure what to make of that, or Trip’s reaction, which is decidedly not one of amusement. The two of them begin to place their equipment and their environment suits in bank teller-like drawers in the wall, and push them shut to have them irradiated and cleaned. This leaves them in essentially their skivvies. Trip takes a seat on one of the benches and starts to reluctantly take off his socks. T’Pol, on the other hand, not suffering from any of the embarrassment Human modesty inflicts, simply begins by taking off her top and placing it in another drawer. Trip notices this and gawks at her briefly in surprise along with admiration for her beauty, but goes back to his socks when she turns around to look at him. We, of course don’t really get to see anything “special”, as this is a PG-13 show and the kiddies might be watching.
T’POL I have to say that I’m thoroughly disappointed in you Commander.
Trip looks back up at her, completely forgetting about anything else. For a moment, it looks like he thinks she is referring to his brief once-over of her.
TRIP (confused) What?
T’POL Despite your intelligence, you allow your emotions to control you. (beat, flatly) They will be your downfall.
The two of them continue to strip and place their clothing in the drawers throughout.
TRIP (sarcastically) Oh God, not this crap again… (beat, sighs) I thought we were done arguin’ about this.
T’POL No, you simply interrupted me and I waited until I had an opportunity to continue our discussion.
TRIP Well this must be a pretty one-sided conversation then, ‘cause I seem to remember pointin’ out all kinds of flaws in your arguments, even before all this fun started in that building.
Trip raises his arms and motions about the room in an exaggerated fashion.
T’POL If anything, I believe you have proven my arguments about Humanity’s shortcomings.
T’Pol, finished stripping, pushes the drawer containing her clothing shut and walks over to the room’s small multi-headed shower, giving us a few gratuitous looks at her shape. She steps into the shower and gives Trip one last look. Trip finishes stripping as well and closes the drawer with his clothes in it before stepping rapidly toward T’Pol to face her down.
TRIP Now wait just one damn minute. How can you say that after insistin' that you're not tryin' to push your culture on us? (beat, frustrated) So much for not lookin' down on Humans.
T’Pol is losing patience. She pushes the button that activates the blue UV lights in the shower to begin the decontamination sequence.
T’POL You nearly got us killed today by allowing your emotions to rule you.
The water in the shower begins to spray, enveloping T’Pol in its fine, high-pressure mist. Trip loses his temper at her accusation. T’Pol closes her eyes, puts her arms up, and slowly turns to let the shower and UV lights do their work, further upsetting Trip, who takes this as her cutting him off.
TRIP I’ve about had it with your patronizin’! You know that ain’t-
Trip stops; he notices something that had somehow escaped his notice while the two of them were arguing – T’Pol looks pretty good when she’s naked. He tries not to stare, being a Southern gentleman and all, but he’s also a heterosexual Human male and it’s very difficult not to. To make matters worse, he starts having a certain involuntary reaction to T’Pol’s wet, naked body mere feet from him, and he blushes with embarrassment. Luck seems to have left Trip, because while he’s busy trying to cover himself and look away, the decontamination sequence has ended and T’Pol faces him again, opening her eyes to see him trying to turn away so she can’t see, but she does. Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise and she steps out to confront Trip, her curiosity getting the better of her.
T’POL Fascinating. I don't believe I've ever witnessed that sort of reaction to my presence. (beat) Why have you lost your composure?
Trip’s face is red with embarrassment, and he struggles to cover himself.
TRIP (muttering) It's a natural reaction…
T’Pol frowns in disappointment, and Trip’s face goes pale as he starts to forget about his problem.
T’POL Are Humans so immature that they can’t handle nudity, even in the most clinical of settings?
T’Pol turns and grabs a sterile towel to begin drying herself off with. Trip now completely forgets about his problem; his anger with T’Pol overcoming his embarrassment. He takes a step closer to T’Pol for emphasis.
TRIP It has nothin’ to do with immaturity; it’s just a natural reaction and that’s all there is to it! I’m as Human as the next man after all!
T’POL (dryly) Indeed. (beat) Your emotion overrules any logic.
Now Trip really loses it and steps right up to her, just inches from making physical contact. This takes T’Pol a little off guard and actually flusters her a little. Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise again, and only the most observant viewer might catch her eyes glancing downward very quickly before making eye contact with Trip. The size difference between them is very apparent now, Trip standing almost a full head taller than T’Pol, but she stands her ground.
TRIP Now that is enough of that. I’m not immature because I happen to find you attractive, and Humanity isn’t too immature either.
T’POL (awkwardly, eyes flickering) Commander…
TRIP (CONT’D) (interrupting, angry) Is that going to be your argument now? Since Trip can’t keep it down, he and every other Human must be ruled by raw emotion? Humanity can’t explore space because I got an erection?
T’Pol opens her mouth to say something as Trip pauses to sigh with frustration, but she doesn’t manage to get anything out by the time Trip starts up again.
TRIP (CONT’D) You know what? Now I’m disappointed in you, Sub-Commander; as arrogant and hypocritical as I think Vulcans can be, I at least thought they had some sense in ‘em, enough to know not to make leaps in logic like that. (beat) I’m sorry we don’t quite live up to your unrealistic expectations of us, but that’s no reason to go and rub our faces in every little mistake we’ve made. (beat) I bet you Vulcans made mistakes when you were first starting out too. Nobody's perfect; we just do our best with what we've got.
An ambiguous expression flashes very quickly over T’Pol’s face, one that could easily be taken as respect.
T’POL You should go through the decontamination cycle Commander, before your exposure causes any further complications.
T’Pol turns and walks away to the other corner of the room, leaving Trip standing there in mild shock and confusion. He watches with bemusement as T’Pol finishes drying off and pulls a hospital gown out of another drawer. Finally, Trip takes his place in the small shower and starts the decontamination cycle. He closes his eyes to go through it and we lose track of T’Pol along with him. We focus on his face and the sound of the running water as he tries to forget about what just happened.
T’POL’S VOICE I’ve been cleared to access the rest of the ship.
Trip eyes fly open with surprise, having lost track of time apparently. T’Pol stands a few feet away watching him with her usual unreadable expression.
T’POL (CONT’D) I will be on the Bridge. I suggest that you return to Engineering as soon as time permits.
Trip doesn’t say a word, just staring after T’Pol as she leaves the room. He can’t help but wonder exactly how long she’d been standing there before she spoke up.
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Kevin Thomas Riley
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20 Mar 2006, 16:31
Post #3
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Lord of the Rohirrim
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^ Oh poor, poor Trip being "exposed" in that condition! :devil: Can't really blame the guy though!
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Rigil Kent
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20 Mar 2006, 16:34
Post #4
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I'm fairly proud of my changes. There was one scene earlier with Archer that just bugged the piss out of me - it made him look like an absolute asshat who did not belong in the command chair. Add a line or two and voila! He no longer appears incompetent...
And I mostly helped smooth out some dialogue...
And hey, CX, do you realize what T'Pol just admitted to Trip there? I wonder if he even caught it... :devil:
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Captain X
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20 Mar 2006, 16:38
Post #5
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- Rigil Kent
- Mar 20 2006, 05:34 PM
And hey, CX, do you realize what T'Pol just admitted to Trip there? I wonder if he even caught it... :devil:
Hmm... Does it have something to do with this line: - Quote:
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Fascinating. I don't believe I've ever witnessed that sort of reaction to my presence.
or this line: - Quote:
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You should go through the decontamination cycle Commander, before your exposure causes any further complications.
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Rigil Kent
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20 Mar 2006, 16:41
Post #6
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- Quote:
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Fascinating. I don't believe I've ever witnessed that sort of reaction to my presence. :devil:
Clearly, she's a little more ... inexperienced than she'd like to admit...
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Captain X
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20 Mar 2006, 16:43
Post #7
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Damn, guess I read a little more into that second one than I was meant to. But then, I do have a very dirty mind. :devil:
- Quote:
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Clearly, she's a little more ... inexperienced than she'd like to admit...
Hmmm... might have to exploit that.
;)
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Rigil Kent
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20 Mar 2006, 17:04
Post #8
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Well, it kinda stands to reason. Since intercourse for reasons beyond procreation might not be considered "logical", the fact that she's ... well ... inexperienced only makes sense.
Which, given the fact that Trip knows she's much older than him, would lead to a lot more confusion between them since he'd assume that with age = experience...
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Captain X
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20 Mar 2006, 17:18
Post #9
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- Quote:
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Well, it kinda stands to reason. Since intercourse for reasons beyond procreation might not be considered "logical"
Actually, I wouldn't want that to be the case here. I'd actually like to put my theory that I wrote up a while back into practice. I think T'Pol has just been a bit too career oriented to have been bothered with sex and sexuality, she's been putting marriage off all this time after all. That's my theory anyway.
;)
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Rigil Kent
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20 Mar 2006, 17:19
Post #10
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Up until she meets a certain engineer ... and then ... dammit, she keeps thinking about him in Decon... :devil:
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Captain X
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20 Mar 2006, 17:39
Post #11
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*whistles innocently*
Guess Trip made an impression. :devil:
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Rigil Kent
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20 Mar 2006, 17:41
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Heh. He was "up" for the challenge, after all. :devil:
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Captain X
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21 Mar 2006, 15:34
Post #13
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Well, if anyone's interested, it's set to release at 7 PM CST tonight.
:)
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Rigil Kent
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21 Mar 2006, 15:35
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Also, since he didn't finish, this is Part One...
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Captain X
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21 Mar 2006, 15:37
Post #15
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Meh, they'd have figured it out when they got to "To Be Continued" at the end.
;)
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Rigil Kent
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21 Mar 2006, 15:39
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Yeah, but knowing how pissed off I get when I'm reading something and come to the "end" and it's TBC...I figured I'd give everyone an early warning...
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Captain X
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21 Mar 2006, 18:32
Post #17
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“One Small Step…” Part I Foundations Miniseries episode #1. Story by CJ Sitter, Jimi James, and PG15. Written by CJ Sitter, Rigil Kent, and Daegan A. Haller. Script first released on 21 March 2006. No date given. As Earth makes her first steps into deep space exploration, trouble erupts on Alpha Centauri. A colony wanting out enlists the help of an alien nation, and brings to a hault the mission of the newly commissioned UES Enterprise. Now a rookie crew and untested ship must do their best to end an uprising without bloodshed, and do it without the Vulcans pulling the plug on this newest endeavour by Earth.
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chrisis1033
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21 Mar 2006, 19:33
Post #18
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ADMIN:... Moved to "Fan Creations"
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Captain X
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21 Mar 2006, 22:04
Post #19
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Damn, and here I was hoping this was some review or something already. :weepy:
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HTH2k
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27 Mar 2006, 21:37
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Ok, I realize I'm new here but where the **** is the story? Would a reference to location or perhaps a link be too much to ask?
Thank you,
HTH
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